Frequency of visits to the gym
Being addressed as “Brother Assface” on a daily basis
That time Trent was all “I’m gonna miss you guys, you guys are my best friends, I’m a little girl, wah wah wah.” What a homo.
Calls to your high school ex just, ya know, to see what she’s up to this summer
Hot Dogs working their way through your digestive system
Time spent on the family yacht